Meat Head Leaves his Job

Is he really a meathead? Or just the head of the federal agency on meat and poultry inspections? The latter. It doesnt automaticaly mean he is a meathead....but he could be. Then again, after he has resigned, he aint a meat head any more.

Be Afraid - I see Dead People

You are afraid something is wrong? What, with the situation, or your mental health. You werent terribly clear about that honey.

Thats a Long Pregnancy

How must the woman be feeling after a long 22 months pregnancy. And they say 9 months is a long time.

Chicken Dinner Road Danger

Chicken Dinner Road? Somebody actually named it this? Wow.

Jimmy Carter''s Burial Plans Headline

funny news headline about jimmy carter's burial plans home town excitedIm not sure that it is a good thing for people to get excited about Jimmy Carter's burial plans. Im sure they still like him.

Dont Die from Spinach Salad Recipe

funny recipe for spinich salad to die from You dont really want to die from this spinich salad do you? Does look tasty though.

Funny Car Accident Report

funny news story about man who called police to check on his own car accident I wonder if this idiot, calling to check on his own accident, actually left his name? Caller ID might have found him out. Now thats one stupid person.

Funny Odd World News

Some homeless people in Milan, Italy, will be savouring beluga caviar this Christmas, thanks to officials who seized 40 kilograms of the delicacy from smugglers. The caviar will be served by charities alongside traditional Christmas foods, such as lentils, pasta and cake.

The apes of wrath ... three monkeys turned on their trainer during a bike-riding performance in Suzhou, China, and beat him senseless. While one twisted his ears, another pulled his hair out and bit his neck. A third then beat him with his cane until it broke. Police are investigating cruelty claims.

A turkey has been spared ending up on the dinner plate this Christmas — because it's too ugly. Wilbur is underweight, has no tail feathers, a misshapen body and walks with a limp and is the only bird remaining at the pick-your-own turkey farm in Totnes, Devon.

A trail of tobacco spit has led investigators to a suspect in at least five burglaries across Oklahoma. Police say Randy Shoopman, 33, was charged with 11 counts of burglary after DNA matched samples taken from expectorant at the scene of several burglaries.

Stupid People Stupid News

A Romanian man has won a year-long fight to persuade the courts that he is not dead. Bungling civil servants had mixed Gheroghe Stirbu, from Timisoara, up with another man. Judges renewed his status as alive and then charged him AUD $1140 in court costs.

A calendar featuring England's prisons has become an unlikely best-selling stocking filler for Christmas. It follows the surprise success of the Boring Postcard books, which became an overnight hit with pictures of freeway service stations, roundabouts and shopping centres

Berlin city officials, summoned by complaints over the noise, found a 60-year-old man sharing his two-room flat with 1700 budgerigars. The floors were saturated with droppings. The pensioner said he had adopted two birds because he felt lonely and that nature had done the rest.

A 23-year-old horse has gone from painting a fence around a paddock in Reno, Nevada, to having its abstract art sell for more than $4300 at a gallery in Italy. Owner Renee Chambers said it all began when her husband suggested she give their mustang, Cholla, a brush.

Funny Liar News Headline

funny news headline about msi owner admitting to not tellin gtruth but not lying either MSI Owner denies lying but admits not telling the truth. Hmm, what is in between these things? Sorry buddy, you are a liar.

Funny Midget News Belittling Remarks

funny newspaper headline midget sues grocer belittling remarks Careful, the newspaper might be the next target of the midget after that headline. Belittling remarks, what were they thinking?

Funny Jacks Off News Headline

stupid newspaper headline lady jacks off to hot start missed editing How unfortunate. Another one that slipped past the editor. "Lady Jacks off to Hot start". Innapropriate.

Dead Victim Required at Trial

funny news headlines prosecutors want victim in court during murder trial And how exactly is the victim going to turn up? Gee prosecutors, cant get a conviction if the victim is still alive.

What Time Does Kmart Close?

funny story in newspaper about couple arguing over kmart opening hours police called Can you believe this? A couple arguing so loudly about Kmarts opening hours that the police had to be called. At least they calmed down when they got the answer. Weird people.

Funny Headline DNA Sample from Butt

humorous news headlines police seek dna sample from butt funny Yes, its a cigarette butt they mean. But this confusion happens when you shorten the sentence because of a lack of space.

Lock Up Your VW Car

funny photo of volkswagen locked up to a pole with bike chainYes, forget the steering lock or the car alarm. Lock up your new volkswagen with a regular old bike chain and attach it to a pole. Pity that all it seems to be attached to is the plastic bumper.

More Stupid Odd News Stories

Workers are being trained as human sniffer dogs by Esperance Port Authority, Western Australia, to detect nickel odours on a scale of zero to six. A specialist is giving workers a "nose calibration" to detect toxic levels of chemical n-Butanol — also known as smelly banana gas.

A man who stole a moped in Austria 25 years ago has sent an anonymous confession letter to police, enclosing €1400 ($A2733) cash to compensate his victim. He said if police could not find the moped’s former owner, they could donate the sum to local social services.

An English gardener who sells leftover vegetables to passers-by has been ordered to comply with European Union rules on weights and measures. Trading standards officials issued a four-page warning to James Cookson after they spotted an honesty box next to his stall.

A burly British firefighter was carpeted by bosses after he fled his duty station in Essex when he saw two mice. He drove back to HQ, telling colleagues he was too frightened to stay on his own at night. Angry top brass ordered him to go back or face disciplinary charges.

Bad Dirty Principal Headline

funny news headline dirty principal wants cheerleaders skirts left at home What a dirty principal. He wants the cheerleaders skirts left at home? Then again, maybe just a poor choice of words in this headline.

Real Life Funny Stuff

A Hong Kong chef has a suspected broken toe after a large turtle bit him in a struggle to escape the cooking pot. While the chef was taken to hospital, the turtle was trapped and put back in a cage and the banquet at the Kuen Fat restaurant called off — but only temporarily.

A Japanese zoo in Kushiro has discovered why it couldn’t get two polar bears to mate — both are female. During the rutting season, Tsuyoshi didn’t show mating behaviour such as chasing after the female. Suspicions deepened when Tsuyoshi was seen urinating just like the female bear.

A man who says he eats 10 Mars bars a day has claimed a lack of sugar prompted him to attack his girlfriend when she wore big, Bridget Jones-style knickers instead of a G-string. Marco Fella, 38, from Cornwall, admitted two common assaults. His sentencing was adjourned

A driving theory test on 400 Malaysian driving instructors resulted in 65 per cent of them failing. At a seminar in Perak, 396 instructors were asked to take the exam and only 35 per cent passed, said state road department director Mohamad Yasir Mastakim.

A British binman who found 10,000 pounds (A$15,542) in shredded banknotes has been told he can keep the cash - if he pieces it together. Graham Hill spotted the remains of 10- and 20-pound notes six months ago. Police have now told him that no one has claimed the money - and it is his.

How to Watch the Football

funny photo of spectators watching football or sports match from a tree crazy Some spectators up this tree yeah? Didnt want to pay to get in. Now that is dangerous. Some of those branches dont look like they will hold. Wouldnt make for a tree house.

Stupid Odd News Stories

A parrot has been reunited with its Welsh owner after reportedly chirping its name down the phone. The woman who found two-year-old cockatiel Smokey wanted to be sure she was speaking to the owners. So she passed the phone to the bird, and it immediately squawked its name.

Opinion is split over artistic merit in a Wolverhampton gallery in England after 14 tonnes of coal was piled up as an exhibit by artists Matthew Cornford and David Cross to highlight fuel costs and climate change. Paying customer Lee Rue, 31, said: "That’s not art, it’s a pile of coal."

Peru's national cocktail, the pisco sour, has been packing a punch at the APEC summit, helping to sour relations with fellow APEC member Chile, which claims its version of the beverage is the real thing. The two have been locked in a battle over the drink since an 1879-1883 war.

The Spanish town of Santa Coloma de Gramenet, near Barcelona, has transformed a place of perpetual rest into one buzzing with renewable energy. Flat, open land is so scarce that the graveyard was the only viable spot to accommodate 462 solar panels.

A Colorado judge makes persistent noise nuisances listen to music by Barry Manilow and Barney the Dinosaur. He claims his method of making offenders sit in a room and listen to music they hate for one hour has heavily reduced the number of repeat offenders

Funny Dinner Party on the Road Pic

funny cctv photo of dinner party or poker gane in middle of road Good place to have a dinner party or a poker game. In the middle of the road. This image was captured on CCTV. Thats funny. How quickly could they move the table if a truck was approaching?

Drunk Teenager Steals Double Decker Bus

A drunken teenager stole two buses and drove a Stagecoach double-decker 60 miles in an attempt to visit his heavily-pregnant girlfriend, a court heard.

He was intercepted on a motorway by police after calling into a service station for cigarettes which he asked to be put "on the Stagecoach account".

The 17-year-old had been heading along the M6 in Cumbria towards Scotland and was found to be almost twice over the drink-drive limit.

He had only been released from custody 12 hours earlier after stealing another bus from the Stagecoach depot in Barrow-in-Furness.

On the first occasion he had drunk five pints and 10 cans of lager and was arrested after driving the wrong way around a roundabout and crashing through a fence.

John Appleby, prosecuting, told Barrow Youth court that within 48 hours police received a call from a member of staff at a Little Chef in Penrith concerned about a bus being driven by someone "very young".

A police patrol followed the teenager, who cannot be named as a juvenile, for several miles as he drove the 14-ton vehicle on the motorway.

Maureen Fawcett, defending, told the court: "He is a very, very young 17-year-old and a foolish one, he said he took the first bus to commit suicide."

The youth, who cannot be named for legal reasons, admitted two counts of aggravated vehicle taking, attempted deception, failing to stop, dangerous driving, drink driving and driving without a licence or insurance.

He was sent to a detention centre for 12 months and banned him from driving for two years.

Real Life Stupid News

The Big Penguin, a three-metre tall tourist attraction in the Tasmanian town of Penguin may be toxic. Asbestos experts are testing the giant bird, which hundreds of thousands of tourists have stood beside since it was erected in 1975 after one of its builders raised concerns.

An Austrian food producer faces legal action by pharmaceutical giant Pfizer, the producer of Viagra, over his blue "Styriagra'' chocolate-coated pumpkin seeds. Richard Mandl says the name is a combination of his Austrian province, Styria, and "agra'', for agricultural product.

A San Francisco artist wants to replace her missing eyeball with a video camera to record her life. Tanya Vlach, who lost an eye in a car accident, has asked engineers to build her a miniature webcam with a 3X optical zoom, a slot for a 4GB SD card, and the ability to take still photos.

Students in Texas have created a genetically modified beer that helps prolong life and prevent illness — the only problem is it tastes awful. "No way would anyone drink this until it tastes better," researcher Thomas Segall-Shapiro said.

Around 8000 council workers were given advice on how to avoid falling over by Renfrewshire Council in Scotland — after one employee slipped on a pile of leaves. Zealous bosses immediately issued tips on a document entitled "Corporate guidance on the prevention of slips, trips and falls".

Real Life Funny Odd Stuff

Police in Milwaukee say a teenage boy has survived after being dumped into the back of a recycling truck and compacted. The 14-year-old had been hiding in a recycling bin after running away from a boot camp-style school and was discovered at a recycling centre.

US authorities say Galen Winchell set fire to his Georgia home as he cleaned cobwebs from eaves with a blowtorch. He noticed the blaze when he saw smoke pouring from the attic. Though the fire was confined to one area, the entire house had smoke and water damage.

A nine-year-old Japanese boy drove a car alone for three kilometres to see his grandmother, saying he was confident at the wheel after playing video games, police said. "I learned from playing video games at arcades and watching my father drive," the boy said.

Police in Germany are hunting a thief with no arms who walked out of a shop with a 24-inch TV. Two accomplices used clamps to fix the TV to his body before helping him out of the store in Munich. Staff did not realise what had happened until they looked back at CCTV recordings.

A recent Bulgarian immigrant found $US7,500 ($A11,213) in a shoe box on her first day on the job last week at a Goodwill store near St Louis in Glen Carbon, Illinois. Teodora Petrova turned the money over to a manager of the nonprofit charity.

A Ukrainian woman survived a 100-metre plunge from her ninth-floor flat - into a giant vat of grapes. Ludmilla Vasko, 29, fell from the balcony of her apartment into the grapes, harvested from the vineyard below

Latest Odd Real News

An alleged armed robber seeking to evade police has been apprehended in Brisbane after unwittingly running into the yard of an off-duty police dog. Police said they had been pursuing a 30-year-old man who had threatened a supermarket staff member with a knife.

Officials in Wales mistakenly erected a road sign saying "I am not in the office at the moment'' in Welsh. The sign had said in English "No entry for heavy goods vehicles. Residential site only'', but when Swansea Council sent it to be translated, they used an automated email response .

Two young Swedish women tied the knot at the weekend in the first known lesbian wedding at the Taj Mahal, India's ethereal monument to love. The couple, Sandra and Sarah, followed Hindu rituals during the ceremony, conducted by a priest at the Mahadeva Shiva temple.

English music graduate George Garratt, 19, has changed his name by deed poll to Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined. The Somerset man, who thinks the new name is "crazy", admits his grandmother is no longer speaking to him.

A Swiss shopkeeper fed up with scores of requests for parking meter change is making motorists sing for it. "I didn't want to be rude and just tell people to get lost, so I thought up the idea of getting them to do something if they really wanted the money," Rene Jenni said.